A reintroduction. Who are we, really…?

 I am a wife, mom, fiber artist, program director for an art center, teacher of fiber arts, writer, painter, starter of projects.  I have actual moments of clarity.  I aspire to do many things and even accomplish a few of them.

When I was twenty-something, I told my sister I was going to move out of state, change my name, live on a hill and learn to spin wool from my own flock.  Well, I did just that.

I didn’t set out to do any of these things on purpose.  When I originally made that statement, I hadn’t considered marriage as  part of the scenario.  I planned to change my name in the metaphorical sense and not the way it happened.

I felt adrift.  My mom passed away when she was 56 and I, 21.  I was in the midst of several job/career changes.  I was unhappy dating and frankly, didn’t want to be married.  I couldn’t stand the thought of telling my life story one.more.time.  I was restless and wanted to run away and become someone else. 

My home was in Chicago (and a suburb).  Quite by happy accident, I met a man from Tennessee and fell in love.  I told my life story one more time.  We married, I changed my name, moved – to a house on a hill – and bought my first two sheep in 1992.  I learned to spin a year before that, and weaving came shortly thereafter.    It’s rather unnerving how this happened in retrospect.  However, it wasn’t simply a passing thought.  I wanted these things to become my reality.  I spoke my life into existence…

Vintage photo of my first sheep Anddie and me

Sheep aren’t a part of my days anymore.  They all lived happy content lives until, one by one, it was their time to leave.  I work as a program director for a school of art and humanities.  I teach fiber arts there as well.  Our children are grown.  We have time to focus on each other and the things we wish to bring into our lives.  Life is full, but there’s room for more.

Today, “Berta’s Flax” brings me to the page.  Berta’s Flax is a new Facebook group to which I belong.  Quite simply, a wonderful Austrian woman named Christiane came into the possession of two large chests filled with sticks of flax and linens.  They belonged to an Austrian woman named Berta who married in the 1940’s.   She has passed  away and her son wanted his mother’s belongings to go to a good home.  The chests and their contents were Berta’s dowry.  Christiane soon realized she would not be able to spin all the flax in the gifted dowry chests and began to give it to other spinners for only the cost of shipping.  She is a kind and gentle soul I wish I knew in person. 

Christiane.  

Christiane with a bridal chest.

The last time I checked, Berta’s Flax has grown to an amazing 745 members!  I have not requested a strick from Christiane yet.  I want to wait until I feel she has caught her breath.  My experience spinning flax is minimal and poor at best.  I do think, with the addition of this wonderful group, I may learn many useful tips… 

I read stories daily about Berta’s Flax members receiving their stricks and more stories of dowry chests lovingly handed over to Christiane - and some not.  I find myself thinking of my Austrian grandmother Anne and great-grandmother Barbara - both with the last name Rostan.  My paternal grandmother Anne was wonderful.  She was warm, loving and always armed with a hug.  In regard to fiber, I never saw her with any kind of  kind of needlework in her hands.  She was a busy girl – a wonderful cook, she kept a beautiful home and always had time for family.  Anne had arthritis in her hands and that may very well have been the reason she didn’t do any kind of fiber art when I was a child. 

Truly little is known about my great-grandmother, Barbara.  She and my great grandfather, Lawrence were married against her family’s wishes. Barbara came from a wealthy family and Lawrence was a farmer - with what I can only guess, was an austere lifestyle.  Together, they had a large family with twin boys being the last of their children. 

There are several stories surrounding my great grandmother.  The most logical one I have been told is Barbara passed away giving birth to the twin boys.  This would have happened somewhere in the late 1800’s.  After her death, Barbara’s family came to the home to take the twin boys and “furniture” belonging to Barbara.  Lawrence then traveled to the United States and later sent for his children.  Lawrence remarried very quickly upon coming to the states to a woman named Mary who was also from Austria.  Together, they had many children as well.

Until last week, I never considered what the “furniture” might have been that was so important, Barbara’s family would come to retrieve it after her death (along with two precious baby boys).  I’m nearly convinced now; part of the furniture must have been her bridal chest(s).  I wonder what they contained.  Was it flax and linens?  It’s doubtful I will ever know. 

When I think of Barbara, I am in awe of her strong and courageous spirit.  Against her family’s wishes, she married a man whose social and financial standing was beneath hers.  She married into a life of hard, physical work, but also full of love for the man who made her want to leave a much easier life behind – and not look back. I want to know more about this woman, from where she came and what she was like.  The church that held the records regarding this family burned, so all recorded information was lost.  Somewhere in my soul, I feel I have family in Austria who were borne from the lineage of my twin great uncles.  I could have distant family in Berta’s Flax.  They are most assuredly my family in fiber.  I am grateful to be part of this group that ties together my love of fiber and the culture that is part of my heritage.  Here’s to you, Barbara and Berta!

My grandmothers - Ruth and Anne on my parent's Wedding Day!

Christiane's photo of an Austrian morning.  
I feel strong ties to this part of my heritage. <3